Man to row boat up Everest

To celebrate the momentous announcement that Sir Brian Clough-Laws KPZ (Knight of the Pro-Zone) is to single-handedly attempt to conquer the heights of the “Promised Land” of the Premiership, with only his trusty husky, Russ, and a backroom staff of doctors, dieticians and physical trainers to help, we have pleasure in announcing an exclusive interview, only available on www.ironunion.net and any other website that pinches it, conducted by Dr David Burnsuh.

The interview took place on Sunday 5th November at a secret location close to Area 51 in Gunness where Sir Brian has been in training with Russ, a stick and a rubber hoop.

Dr David Burnsuh: - Thank you for inviting us to your splendid, er, training area, Sir Brian. May I call you Sir?
Sir Brian Clough-Laws: - You are welcome Burnsuh.
DDB: - How long have you been planning this expedition Sir?
BCL: - I have been in training for over twelve years now. It started out as an Arctic sea exploration out of Grimsby but I had a little difficulty with some of my team, language and diet mainly. I then got the chance of a major sponsor near to where we are now and I snapped his hand off. He has been funding my dream for the last ten years. Can’t remember his name.
DDB: - Heh heh, if I may be so sycophantic. What sort of timeframe are we looking at for this expedition, oh Great One?
BCL: - Well I’m hopeful that I will still be fit by Christmas, although my Doctor, David Allen says I don’t stand much chance if my results don’t start picking up, so that we can start the long march down that road to picking the boat up and strapping an oar to my back before running up that hill. We have a full team of people who are becoming a real team of people, er, and a team, like. We will be picking up supplies in January – Keogh Mint Cake, Sharp’s mineral water, Uncle Joe Murphy Mint Balls and Sparrow & Williams Crampons. I had planned to have a speciality mast in place on the boat by now but our suppliers at Torpey’s of Bristol have let us down. Again.
DDB: - Sounds absolutely super. So how long do you think you will be actually rowing for?
BCL: - Oh, I won’t be rowing Burnsuh, I’ll leave that to all the others in my one-man team. There’s no I in team you know. Russ will be doing his best I’m sure, lovely little thing. We will hopefully arrive in the Promised Land in late March/early April but we will definitely be there or thereabouts come May.
DDB: - What message have you got for the prats out there in that internet message board land of which you know nothing?
BCL: - I’d like to thank them all for the unstinctive supportifaction they have given me over the years and I only hope I can repay them and my mortgage. I’ll tell you one thing though Burnsuh, why shouldn’t Brian Clough-Laws do it? Why shouldn’t Brian Clough-Laws be the first man to reach the Promised Land? If any man can then that man hasn’t been born yet and it’s Brian Clough-Laws.

At this point the interview was terminated as Russ, Sir Brian’s trusty husky, started to have a fit.