Rotherham Report

Score 1-1 Scunthorpe ,Keogh 41 mins Rotherham ,Hoskins 83 mins
Attendance 5778
Referee A. Leak

Ex Iron Alan Knill who's side faced the Iron at Mill Moor on Saturday.

Break out the Netto Pomagne and Ferrera Roche, pull up a chair next to the Primark catwalk, Scunthorpe have secured mid-table mediocrity and anonymity! The dull football and predictable results we have witnessed for most of this season all came together in a melange of man-made fibres which hung from Wilcox’s frame like a bin liner full of wet seaweed hanging from a tree.

How are these people allowed to get away with dressing in this manner? Is there no door policy at the Players and Officials entrance at football grounds nowadays? Wilcox and Laws both look like overeager childminders rather than the Men At The Top they so wish to be seen as. Between the Dairy Milk-delivering Alan Knill and the sartorially blessed Iron-Bru miseries these two Carlotti clad tramps deserved nothing more than the disdain they received from the young Rotherham teenagers in hooky Stone Island. This inelegance extends to a small lump of the Iron soft-and-loyals who insist on bellowing unimaginative and derivative “chants”. The polyester-clad Barmy Llamas left their mark at yet another ground as the alleyway down the side of Millmoor awaits its bi-weekly disinfections. Rotherham are in danger of becoming the Halifax of South Yorkshire. Their new stand looks like it will be a fine thing - if it gets finished, which I cannot see happening. The corporate area did have a smarter look to it than Doncaster’s Portakabins though how long a marquee will last at the top of an open stand is anybody’s guess, especially with the passing abilities of the defenders in the bottom two leagues. The game itself was the usual fare served up this season: dour midfield scuffling, hoofed long balls up to lampposts, pointless running around, throw-ins, more throw-ins interspersed with extremely rare moments of football goodness. One of these was the Keogh goal, which was well deserved for the man who covers every blade of grass on every pitch he plays on and is making a mockery of Torpey’s ‘striker’ status. We all see what Keogh does and we all see what Torpey doesn’t do – score, or move, or jump. The best chance of the game fell to Torpey – six yards out, no defenders, he deftly lobbed the ball into the ‘keepers top right limb. His headlight-stricken rabbit impersonation was to the fore again as he received the ball on the edge of the eighteen yard box, with his back to goal, and promptly froze as a thought bubble appeared above his head with the legend, “Now what?” As for the rest – Byrne tried to assassinate Quinn, Sparrow ran from side to side, Taylor played better on the side opposite the dug-outs (again), Sharp got no real chances and everyone seemed to be going through the end of season motions. Roll on the close season transfer excitement one always associates with Scunthorpe United……………
WHITEST MAN OF THE MATCH AWARD – Andy Keogh.